billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
