I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
