well you can't waste a boner
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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