My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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