We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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