I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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