He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
