are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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