what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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