Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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