it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize