i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
