Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
