2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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