Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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