guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
