then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
