I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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