i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
