I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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