Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize