it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
