Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
