the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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