I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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