Farmville is her only friend.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
