idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
