her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize