I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
