walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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