she peed on how many people?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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