I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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