GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
