Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
