I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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