I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
