roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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