Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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