i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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