I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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