Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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