i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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