im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
