Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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