I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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