sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
