I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
