ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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