Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
