how can u be prego again
Your tits are I can't wait for
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
