but the lizard people decide everything anyway
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
