do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
