im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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