my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize