It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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