All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
