this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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