you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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