don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
