thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
