I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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