his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm too high and old for this...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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