Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize