Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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