Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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