Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
