Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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