the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
